{"id":2085,"date":"2008-01-31T20:14:00","date_gmt":"2008-02-01T04:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/?p=2085"},"modified":"2008-01-31T20:14:00","modified_gmt":"2008-02-01T04:14:00","slug":"the-ballad-of-jonny-prequels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/?p=2085","title":{"rendered":"The Ballad of Jonny Prequels"},"content":{"rendered":"
Let me tell you a story, children,
Come gather ’round the fire,
Let me tell you the story, of a man,
Named Jonny Preex<\/p>\n

Jonny… Jonny Preex
Preex, short for Prequels
Jon-ny Preex
Jon-ny Prequels
Jonny, he loves them prequels<\/p>\n

Now over at the comic book factory
Was a hard working young man
He was a man of few words, drove a truck as big as the sun,
And we called him, Jonny Preex<\/p>\n

Jonny… Jonny Preex
Your truck blocks out the sun
Jon-ny Preex
Jon-ny Prequels
Jonny, I can’t see the sun<\/p>\n

See, Jonny Preex had a pretty little girlfriend
And he didn’t live with his mom
So it might surprise you to hear, that his one passion
Was Star Wars<\/p>\n

Jonny… Jonny Preex
Oota goota Solo?
Jon-ny Preex
Jon-ny Prequels
Jonny, that’s no moon<\/p>\n

Now Jonny truly did like Star Wars
But what he really loved were the prequels
That’s right–the prequels
Episodes One, Two, and Three<\/p>\n

Jar Jar… Jar Jar Binks<\/a>
Mace Windu<\/a> is kind of mean
Jan-go Fett<\/a>
Kit Fis-to<\/a>
Darth Vader says ‘NOOOOO!’<\/p>\n

One day it got dark all of a sudden
At the old comic book factory
I looked outside, and there was Jonny Preex’s truck
Blocking out the sun<\/p>\n

So I says to Jonny Preex, I says
‘What are you up to Jonny Preex?’
He looked at me with determination in his eye, and said,
‘I heard tell there’s somthin’ out there, somethin’ called
‘Expanded Universe<\/a>… ‘<\/p>\n

Katana… Katana Fleet<\/a>
Luke married Mara Jade<\/a>
Te-ras Kasi<\/a>
Ta-lon Karrde<\/a>
Chewbacca’s dead… I said he’s dead… those bastards killed him…<\/p>\n

Jonny jumped right in his truck
And revved that monster up
Drove off into the darkness seeking the Expanded Universe
And we never saw him again.*<\/span><\/p>\n

Jonny… Jonny Preex
Preex, short for Prequels
Jon-ny Preex
Jon-ny Prequels
Jonny, he loves them prequels<\/p>\n

Jonny… Jonny Ee-Yew
Ee-Yew, short for Expanded Universe
Jon-ny Ee-yew
Jon-ny Expanded Universe
Jonny, may the force be with you
May the force be with you<\/p>\n

Now sometimes, after you watch a prequel
If you listen real carefully
You can hear Johnny Preex flipping through the pages…
Of a novel ’bout the Jedi Academy<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/span>* Actually, that’s not true–we saw Johnny Preex at work the next day, and the day after that, and so forth.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
click above for larger view<\/span><\/div>\n

Jonny Prequels is in fact a real person–however, surisingly, his first name is not Jonny. Perhaps even more surprising, I actually<\/i> do call him Jonny Prequels, or Preex for short. Even more surprising than that<\/i>, there’s actually a tune that goes with the chorus to The Ballad of Jonny Preex<\/i>. I’m not musical at all, so I imagine I must have heard it somewhere–it’s something along the lines of the themesong to the old Davey Crockett television series<\/a> or the themesong to Branded<\/i><\/a> which I recall hearing on an episode of Married… With Children<\/i><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Anyhow, I was stuck at work after hours one day due to awful Los Angeles traffic, and I asked Jonny Preex what I should draw. He suggested this guy, but neither of us knew his name or military classification. We just knew he was one of the Clone Troopers<\/a> that attempts (unsuccessfully) to kill Yoda when Order 66<\/a> is given in Episode III. A few weeks later, when I got around to coloring this piece, Coheteboy<\/a> (who’s more versed in Star Wars than Preex and I put together) told me Commander Gree<\/a>‘s name off the top of his head, and gave me some color reference.<\/p>\n

Phew. Writing ballads really takes it out of me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let me tell you a story, children,Come gather ’round the fire,Let me tell you the story, of a man,Named Jonny Preex Jonny… Jonny PreexPreex, short for PrequelsJon-ny PreexJon-ny PrequelsJonny, he loves them prequels Now over at the comic book factoryWas a hard working young manHe was a man of few words, drove a truck as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hi-larious-hi-jinx","category-star-wars"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2085\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jasonbot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}