Three Cops In One

I’ve been watching a lot of Star Trek: Deep Space 9 recently and tweeting about it, mostly while I’m drawing. A few weeks ago, this happened:

@jasonhohoho: Odo, Robocop, and John McClane are my favorite cops.
@slimebeast: @jasonhohoho Your drawing challenge: Odo. Robocop. ODOCOP.
@jasonhohoho: @slimebeast CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. One moment…
@jasonhohoho: My three favorite cops, combined. (Challenge issued by @slimebeast) #startrek #ds9 #robocop #diehard http://instagram.com/p/UdQCfti4Fr/

Thanks to @slimebeast for the inspiration–he and I have been buddies since the old days at He-Man.org. (Old days = circa 2007)

Oh yeah, I forgot it was 2013 and signed this drawing 2012. :-/

JLF

JLF, as in “Jedi Life Form.”

I’m continuing to mine old drawings for coloring practice/blog posts. This gem is a nerdy mash-up from about 9 years ago, and features a Melmacian Jedi. Melmacians being from Melmac. Melmac being the home planet of Gordon Shumway. Gordon Shumway being the full name of the alien known as ALF.

Listen, people, I don’t have any explanation for my behavior, past or present, so let’s just go with it, okay?

click above for larger view

 
I’ll be honest, when I drew this, it was pretty much for a cheap larf. As such, I didn’t do the requisite research, which would have revealed to me that Jedi Padawan only have one braid. Would two braids mean that this guy skipped a grade? Or was held back? Man, I don’t know.

Anyways, flash forward to the present… I colored this particular Melmacian with dark skin and sun-bleached fur so that he would look distinct from ALF. I mean come on folks, a Melmacian Jedi is one thing, but it’s just plain laughable to think that Gordon Shumway would become a Jedi. For starters, the Star Wars movies took place in the past, so we don’t even know if Jedi exist in the present. And second, it seems highly unlikely that Gordon would have the discipline to become a Jedi. I’m just saying.

Ahem. The background was cobbled together purely in Photoshop with some digital smoke and mirrors. You know–cheap parlor tricks. However, I think it more or less works, and adds some appropriate atmosphere.

In conclusion, all I can say is…

Ha! I kill me!

You see, because that was ALF’s catchphrase… I should just go now…

WAIT A MINUTE, this is MY blog! Why don’t YOU go!?

Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it–I want you to stay and take a look around. Let’s be friends.

*transcript continues on for another 10 pages*

(This counts as post #1 for this week. Keeping steady at a deficit of 4 missed posts.)

Moldie Oldies: Teenage Mutant Ninja ‘Tubbies

This is the kinda junk that I thought was funny back in 1999. Okay, I still think it’s funny.

 
To be honest, I was, and still am, totally freaked out by the Teletubbies. Are they hairless cats? Why are they wearing footie pajamas? WHY IS THE SUN A BABY? The whole affair is terrifying. However, by mashing the Teletubbies up with the Ninja Turtles, I converted my fear into a super-dorky joke.

TAKE THAT, YOU TERRIFYING HAIRLESS CAT FOOTIE PAJAMA BABY-SUN-WORSHIPPING ABOMINATIONS.

Biting Wit

An unscheduled random doodle–something I drew based on a brief Twitter exchange with @The_TCC:

Unless you’re a serious Transformers nerd, this will probably not be interesting to you. But in case you’re interested, I took a SHARKticon and turned it into a SNARKticon. I know, genius, right?

._.

Nothing to see here, move along…

Pun-ishment

When I am IMing with Dustin in the wee hours of the night, this happens:

1:31:00 AM Dustin: [CENSORED]
1:31:04 AM Jason: LOL
1:31:06 AM Jason: wth???

1:31:10 AM Dustin: lol
1:31:11 AM Jason: you are a sick sick man
1:31:12 AM Dustin: just sayin…
1:31:27 AM Jason: yes, you are indeed just sayin
1:31:38 AM Dustin: like dragon ball z man
1:31:41 AM Dustin: just saiyan
1:31:47 AM Jason: hahahahahaah
1:31:51 AM Jason: +700 nerd points to you
1:31:55 AM Dustin: lol
1:32:44 AM Jason: lol…. you should draw a picture of goku shrugging and at the bottom it says “just saiyan”
1:32:57 AM Dustin: YOU should

And thus:

click above for larger view

I did some research, and as it turns out, we were not the first two geniuses to stumble upon this pun. But I still felt that this particular version required rendering. Just saiyan.

Things That Should Not Be: Meow?

A few months ago, I finally saw the Watchmen movie on DVD, which was also the first time I had revisited the story in a number of years–the last time I read the comic was maybe… ’98 or ’99? Anyways, it occurred to me that it would be really funny if Bubastis somehow was able to reconstitute himself the way Doctor Manhattan had. Okay, I guess it’s not really funny, but it was funny enough that I thought I should draw it.

I came up with the name Doctor Manxhattan, and Sherri suggested Doctor Mankattan. I decided optimal funny-badness would be achieved by combining the two names. Thus was Doctor Manxkattan born.

The idea really makes more sense (insofar as such an idea can make any sense at all) in the context of the movie, wherein Bubastis is colored similarly to Doctor Manhattan. However, research into the comic corrected and reminded me that Bubastis was actually magenta colored, not blue. Here, for your enjoyment, are both comic and movie versions of the good Doctor:


click above for larger view


click above for larger view

The pose, composition, and colors are all executed in imitation of chapter IV, page 20, panel 1 of the Watchmen comic. HILARIOUS, right? Right? No? Okay, that’s enough of that.

In case you missed my previous Watchmen goof, please check it out.

And here are some superior Watchmen goofs, from sources superior to me–enjoy:


Things That Should Not Be: Hurm.

I think today’s post manages to top the dumbness and nerdiness of my previous record holder. Here’s Rorschach of the Watchmen, resurrected as a Black Lantern, presumably planning to extract vengeance from Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias:

click above for larger view

This one turned out a little better than I expected. As I was drawing it, I had no idea how I was going to approach the coloring, but things ended up working out. Occasionally that happens. Occasionally.

For those who missed this particular detail–the ink blots on his mask are in the midst of forming the Black Lantern symbol–you can thank Josh for suggesting that! And the ring construct grapple gun is fairly accurately derived from Rorschach’s device in Watchmen.

My apologies to Alan Moore. I love the man’s work, but I can’t resist the lure of stupidly awesome nerd crossovers! I’ve got another Watchmen-related post in the “Things That Should Not Be” category… I think I might have it ready for next week. Stay tuned, it’ll be hi-larious!

Actual Size (Okay, not really)

My ally today has been Mucinex.

This is not an endorsement. Consult your physician and clergyman before using drugs, didgeridoo, or mustelids of any kind. Side effects may include blogs of poor quality, typing in small italic print, and writing satirical side effect warnings. Other side effects may include technically inaccurate use of the word satirical (but you get the point), and excessive rambling on. Do not operate heavy machinery while under the effects, including, but not limited to, Zambonis, Mazinger Z, or your mom.

This is a pretty poor representation of a Mucinex pill actually. Other than the fact that the real pills do not advertise my blog, i also got the shape pretty wrong. And the face of the tablet should be noticeably convex. However, it was a decent painting exercise, just for larfs and practice.

Bonus Post: Obsessive Dork Wastes Time

I’ve been seeing a lot of anime/manga-esque avatars on the internets recently, and Jodi kindly informed me that they were generated at FaceYourManga.com.

I made an avatar that resembled me fairly well, but felt the need to waste further time by customizing it even more. A few quick google image searches, some cheap Photoshop tricks, and voila:

Still feeling that time needed to be wasted, I slapped together a quick diagram showing the base elements I used to mod my avatar, and pointing out some of the smaller cosmetic changes I made:

click above for larger view

As a bonus, here’s an avatar I created a few months ago, through the Photobucket/Meez website:

This is basically exactly how I spend my weekends–chillin’ out during a nuclear holocaust, with a dragon hatchling on my shoulder, a ray gun in hand, and a devil-may-care grin on my face. Basically.

What’s wrong with me?

(That’s a rhetorical question.)

Things I ate, and an awesome bonus illustration from a SUPERSTAR artist

Food consumed this weekend was as follows (in chronological order):

FRIDAY:

  • 1 large turkey hoagie cross-section, approximately 4 x 4 x 3″
  • 1 plate full of barbecue chips, kettle-cooked
  • 2 Snapple ice teas
  • 1 slice of chocolate cheesecake
  • 1 pear

SATURDAY:

SUNDAY:

  • 1/2 order of sliced chicken with garlic sauce (Chinese take-out)
  • 1/2 order of mixed vegetables in light sauce (Chinese take-out)
  • approximately 3 glasses of Fresca
  • 1 foot-long Subway tuna sub (with American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach, black olives, cilantro, and mustard)

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY:

My pal, Dustin took some time out of his crazy rockstar schedule to draw an awesome piece for me:

click above for larger view

The l’il robot on the left is my character Cog and the super-hott dame on the right is Big Barda, my favorite character from DC’s New Gods.

YOU’RE THE MAN, DUSTIN! Be sure to check out his Deviant Art gallery, and go buy all his issues of Detective Comics, available in finer comic book stores now!

The Ballad of Jonny Prequels

Let me tell you a story, children,
Come gather ’round the fire,
Let me tell you the story, of a man,
Named Jonny Preex

Jonny… Jonny Preex
Preex, short for Prequels
Jon-ny Preex
Jon-ny Prequels
Jonny, he loves them prequels

Now over at the comic book factory
Was a hard working young man
He was a man of few words, drove a truck as big as the sun,
And we called him, Jonny Preex

Jonny… Jonny Preex
Your truck blocks out the sun
Jon-ny Preex
Jon-ny Prequels
Jonny, I can’t see the sun

See, Jonny Preex had a pretty little girlfriend
And he didn’t live with his mom
So it might surprise you to hear, that his one passion
Was Star Wars

Jonny… Jonny Preex
Oota goota Solo?
Jon-ny Preex
Jon-ny Prequels
Jonny, that’s no moon

Now Jonny truly did like Star Wars
But what he really loved were the prequels
That’s right–the prequels
Episodes One, Two, and Three

Jar Jar… Jar Jar Binks
Mace Windu is kind of mean
Jan-go Fett
Kit Fis-to
Darth Vader says ‘NOOOOO!’

One day it got dark all of a sudden
At the old comic book factory
I looked outside, and there was Jonny Preex’s truck
Blocking out the sun

So I says to Jonny Preex, I says
‘What are you up to Jonny Preex?’
He looked at me with determination in his eye, and said,
‘I heard tell there’s somthin’ out there, somethin’ called
Expanded Universe… ‘

Katana… Katana Fleet
Luke married Mara Jade
Te-ras Kasi
Ta-lon Karrde
Chewbacca’s dead… I said he’s dead… those bastards killed him…

Jonny jumped right in his truck
And revved that monster up
Drove off into the darkness seeking the Expanded Universe
And we never saw him again.*

Jonny… Jonny Preex
Preex, short for Prequels
Jon-ny Preex
Jon-ny Prequels
Jonny, he loves them prequels

Jonny… Jonny Ee-Yew
Ee-Yew, short for Expanded Universe
Jon-ny Ee-yew
Jon-ny Expanded Universe
Jonny, may the force be with you
May the force be with you

Now sometimes, after you watch a prequel
If you listen real carefully
You can hear Johnny Preex flipping through the pages…
Of a novel ’bout the Jedi Academy

* Actually, that’s not true–we saw Johnny Preex at work the next day, and the day after that, and so forth.

click above for larger view

Jonny Prequels is in fact a real person–however, surisingly, his first name is not Jonny. Perhaps even more surprising, I actually do call him Jonny Prequels, or Preex for short. Even more surprising than that, there’s actually a tune that goes with the chorus to The Ballad of Jonny Preex. I’m not musical at all, so I imagine I must have heard it somewhere–it’s something along the lines of the themesong to the old Davey Crockett television series or the themesong to Branded which I recall hearing on an episode of Married… With Children.

Anyhow, I was stuck at work after hours one day due to awful Los Angeles traffic, and I asked Jonny Preex what I should draw. He suggested this guy, but neither of us knew his name or military classification. We just knew he was one of the Clone Troopers that attempts (unsuccessfully) to kill Yoda when Order 66 is given in Episode III. A few weeks later, when I got around to coloring this piece, Coheteboy (who’s more versed in Star Wars than Preex and I put together) told me Commander Gree‘s name off the top of his head, and gave me some color reference.

Phew. Writing ballads really takes it out of me.

A Magical Sprite and a Thanksgiving Flashback

(Posting early for Thanksgiving…)

This sprite is Orko, who is not actually a “Sprite” at all, but a Trollan:

I started this a while back when I was trying to get into RPG Maker. The general proportions of the head (particularly the spacing of the eyes) mimic those of RPG Maker’s character sprites, but this was rendered from scratch. I did try animating this at one point, but it was choppy at best. However, this is definitely something I’ll try more of in the future.

And as a bonus treat for anyone who likes He-Man, She-Ra, or awesome Thanksgiving parades:

BONUS POST: What Time Is It???

I have been meaning to put this post up forever–old chum Gavin linked me to a video on Youtube. What follows is an animated short of minimalist cartooning and absurdist humor, in the most awesome form ever. Rather than rambling on in my usual manner, I will let the video speak for itself–you would be doing yourself a great disservice to not hear what it has to say. Ladies and gentlemen, Adventure Time:

For more on Adventure Time:

“He’s like fifty patoots!”

5-SECOND REVIEW: I Saw Transformers O_O

Transformers (In theaters now!)

I’m cramming for Comic-Con, plus it’s already late, so I’m not going to spend a lot of time reviewing Transformers here. Basically, it’s a fun film that is sometimes silly, with good special effects and action, and a some decent one-liners and nods to the franchise’s history. Some of the attempted humor is clunky, and a lot of the fight scenes are blurry and chaotic, but the character designs, which were controversial among many fans, work excellently in the context of the film, and we are left wide open for a sequel.

Verdict: Awesome. Well worth full ticket prices to see robots gettin’ blowed up good. You will leave the theater feeling like someone grabbed you and shook you by the shoulders for two-plus hours… in a good way!

For More Giant Robots Getting Blowed Up Good: My other favorite giant robot franchises include, Giant Robo, Escaflowne, The Big O, and Robotech.

* * *

NOW, as a bonus, here’s a little e-mail that I wrote up and sent out to a few friends and co-workers. Hammers said it was blogworthy, and by god, when he says something is blogworthy, I BLOG! You will note, that as I have enjoyed the movie at this point, I must eat my words in regards to the filmmaking skills of one Michael Bay. My apologies to Mister Bay and the enormous pile of money that he sleeps on. At any rate, please enjoy:

As you all may or may not know, the live action Transformers movie is debuting on the fourth of July, 7-4-7, as the posters say. Only it isn’t, because they moved it up a day, so 7-3-7, as the new posters say. But then they decided to move it up another day with advance screenings starting at 8:00pm, so now it’s premiering on 7-2-7, which is not on any poster that I have seen. Basically, Transformers will be opening on a Monday, giving it a SEVEN day Fourth of July ‘weekend’ opening. You are asking yourself a question right now, and the answer is, “yes, Hollywood is ridiculous.”

Oh, and by the way, there was already a screening at the L.A. Film Festival, the world premier in Italy, and another advance screening set for this weekend at the annual Transformers convention taking place in scenic Rhode Island. So, even watching it on the first day of the SEVEN day opening, I will already basically be the last person in the world watching it.

Which brings me to the point of this mass mailing. for those of you who had the stamina to stick with me, I applaud you. Again, I digress. presently, the point of this message:

TRANSFORMERS
This Monday July 2nd, 8:00 PM

(Author’s Note: location excluded, as this invite has now expired)

I have my ticket, and I will be there, rain or shine, alone if need be–as track four of the soundtrack to the original Transformers movie says, NOTHING’S GONNA STAND IN MY WAY. I will not be buying tickets or saving seats for anyone, but I would be delighted if you would meet me there. If you decide to come, I highly recommend buying tickets online. And since I’m not doing anything other than writing this email, feel free to bring as many people as you like.

I need not remind you that this is a movie based on a popular toy franchise, being released on a major holiday ‘weekend’ in hopes of attracting the lowest common denominator, and is directed by Michael Bay (a director who is, in case you haven’t noticed, not necessarily good). In short, this movie has three strikes against it–and we are walking into a dangerous situation at best (Let us not forget Pearl Harbor… the movie, not the historical tragedy. Though we should also remember the historical tragedy, for reasons that I shouldn’t have to explain to you here**). Ahem. As I was saying–

Like Optimus Prime recruiting soldiers for the Ark’s fateful journey to planet Earth, I will only be taking volunteers for this mission. Let no one feel obligated to fight for the freedom of all sentient beings. But with any luck, we might see some cool special effects and watch some robots get blowed up good.

So–if you decide to attend, just meet me inside. You will know me by the geeky child-like grin on my face.

-j

** Actually, I’m being a jerk about Pearl Harbor (the movie), I haven’t seen it, though I understand that it is terrible.

Real Life IM Transcript, Fake IM names… Subject: Transformers and Pokemon

It started out innocently enough…

[00:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: butthead
[00:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: ya there?
[00:33] green lantern wannabe: yeah i am
[00:33] AUTOBOT-Elric: i just saw a clip of transformers on david letterman
[00:34] green lantern wannabe: ok so how was the Tf clip?
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: that **** was rad
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: they’re giving away too much, which is a bad sign
[00:34] green lantern wannabe: hahahah sure i hear it looks good
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: but
[00:34] green lantern wannabe: hahahah mayybbeee
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: the clip is radddd
[00:34] green lantern wannabe: haha
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: its megatrron cornering spike on a rooftop
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: it looked great
[00:35] AUTOBOT-Elric: and its the first i’ve heard megs talk
[00:35] AUTOBOT-Elric: hugo weaving sounds nothing like himself
[00:35] AUTOBOT-Elric: i can not wait for this ****!
[00:36] AUTOBOT-Elric: seriously dude, this **** is no fair
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: everyone has seen the movie but me
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: WHY GODDDD
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: ???
[00:37] green lantern wannabe: hahahahah
[00:37] green lantern wannabe: its cool man
[00:37] green lantern wannabe: no worries
[00:37] green lantern wannabe: you’ll get your turn
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: I WANT IT NOWWWWW
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: HUNGERRRRRRRR
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: I WANT IT SO BADDDD I CAN TASTE IT
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: IT DRIVES ME MAD TO SEE IT WASTED
[00:38] AUTOBOT-Elric: little quote from the og TF soundtrack there, niatch

Then some talk about my tragic dating life lead to…

[01:03] AUTOBOT-Elric: i think instead of dating i’m just gonna buy a DS and become a pokemon trainer
[01:03] AUTOBOT-Elric: sound good?
[01:03] AUTOBOT-Elric: quit everything else
[01:06] green lantern wannabe: dude
[01:06] green lantern wannabe: go to bed
[01:06] green lantern wannabe: haha
[01:07] AUTOBOT-Elric: you know what u need to do
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: make a name for yourself
[01:08] green lantern wannabe: umm surreeee
[01:08] green lantern wannabe: ok
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: and then go thru my favorites on DA
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: and just pick people to hire
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: and then tell me all about it
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: you’ll have to txt me
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: cuz i’ll be travelling the world, becoming the world’s greatest pokemon trainer
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: BOOM… BOOMBOOMBOOM-BOOM
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: I WANNA BEEEE THE VERY BEST
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: TO CATCH THEM IS MY TRUE TEST
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: TO TRAIN EM IS MY CAUSE
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: I’LL TRAVEL ‘CROSS THE LAND
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: SEARCHIN FAR AND WIDE
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: EACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: THE POWERRRRRR THATSSSS INSIIIIDE
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: POKEMON!
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: GOTTA CATCH EM ALLLL
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: IT’S YOU AND ME
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: YOU KNOW ITS OUR DESTINY
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: YOU NEEED ME AND I NEEEED YOU
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: POKEEEEEEMONNNNNNN
[01:10] green lantern wannabe: okkkk
[01:10] green lantern wannabe: sure you do that
[01:10] green lantern wannabe: yeahhhh
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: YOU SAID ITS OK!
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: *packs duffle bag and pokeballs*
[01:11] green lantern wannabe: dude.. you are making me tired
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: you have to have stamina
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: if you want to be the world’s best pokemon trainer
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric:
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: e_e
[01:14] AUTOBOT-Elric: eh comrade???
[01:14] AUTOBOT-Elric: eh?
[01:14] AUTOBOT-Elric: ;)
[01:15] green lantern wannabe: eh?

Later, I continue to be hilarious…

[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: ok cool, sounds like a plan
[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: i’m gonna get together some supplies and pick out a few pokeballs
[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: then i need to email professor oak
[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: then its off to bed
[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: and i start my journey as a pokemon trainer tommorrow!
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: who should i pick first?
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: i’m thinking bulbasaur
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude… ?
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: what do you think?
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: you seem like a squirtle man yourself
[01:31] green lantern wannabe: hahaha
[01:31] green lantern wannabe: umm i dont know’
[01:31] green lantern wannabe: its been awhile since i played
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: lol… i forgot, you actually are really good at it
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: damn dude
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: you and i need to both get DS’s
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: and each get a diff version of the game
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: we’ll be rivals!
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: this is gonna be rad.
[01:33] green lantern wannabe: im retired
[01:33] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude
[01:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: i can see the heart of a pokemon trainer burning deep in you
[01:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: it never dies man
[01:34] green lantern wannabe: i hung it up for a bigger and more dangerous hunt
[01:36] AUTOBOT-Elric: digimon
[01:36] AUTOBOT-Elric: yeah i heard that brutha
[01:36] AUTOBOT-Elric: high five!
[01:40] green lantern wannabe: ummmm ok
[01:40] green lantern wannabe: have fun with that

Finally…

[02:04] green lantern wannabe: ok, im going to bed, so i can get up bright and early and get to work on the rest of the stuff i need to do
[02:04] green lantern wannabe: oh and
[02:05] green lantern wannabe: pika pika pika
[02:05] AUTOBOT-Elric: LOL
[02:05] green lantern wannabe: pikachuuuuuuuu
[02:05] AUTOBOT-Elric: I LOVE YOU MAN
[02:05] green lantern wannabe: hahah yeah yeah pika yeah
[02:05] green lantern wannabe: good pika.. imean night

The End!

Author’s Note: Yes, I am aware that naming Bulbasaur and Squirtle as starting Pokemon shows what an old man I am. That’s why I really do need to buy a DS and start training an Infernape or something. Just sayin.

DUCK WEEK PART 2: Horduck!

Typical tired Thursday night = early post:

I was watching my She-Ra DVDs, when something about the villain Hordak caught my eye–what’s up with his crazy duck feet? Check out this post on Busta Toon’s blog to see what I’m talking about. Anyways, a hilarious image popped in my head and I came up with this:

click above for larger view

I actually drew this several months ago, just after Christmas, I believe, and had left the colors in mid-progress. But when Super-Munkyboy started an art jam challenging entrants to turn a superhero or villain into animal, vegetable, or mineral, I thought this would be appropriate. I will update with a link when Super-Munkyboy posts the other entries.

The colors on this sucker follow Hordak’s animation model pretty closely. Same with the costume details, with the exception of the obvious, you know… duckification. I’m happy with how the smoke turned out–I’ve been playing around a little with incorporating gradients recently, rather than sticking strictly to two-tone cell-shading.

So originally this was intended to just be an anthropomorphic version of Hordak, but then I got to thinking–given the level of silliness in the old He-Man and She-Ra cartoons, Horduck could easily be incorporated into that universe! And so:

* * *

PROFILE: As a result of his technological and magical enhancements, HORDUCK is capable of shapeshifting in the same manner as Hordak, though his range is more limited. He has enhanced strength and stamina, and possesses thermal vision. Horduck is a classic bully with a Napoleon complex. He sincerely idolizes Hordak, and Hordak, as a result of a huge ego, humors this behavior. However, Horduck and Imp loathe eachother, as Imp percieves (correctly) that Horduck seeks to usurp his position as Hordack’s trusted messenger and protege.

HISTORY: A sickly slave from Hordak’s homeworld, the tiny despot who would become known as Horduck was the subject of experimentation by Modulok. Emerging from the experiments with enhanced powers and strength, he was raised by Shadow Weaver and Hordak, and indoctrinated in the ways of the Horde. Although he constantly claims to be a “Ducktator” of the outer territories of Etheria, in reality he’s merely the officer in command of a small Horde expeditionary force. Currently, he and his squadron are terrorizing a colony of Sagarian Trobbits. The Trobbits however, have allied themselves with the local Twigget population, and a group of Eternian Widgets who’ve found themselves stranded on Etheria.

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Also posted on the He-Man.org fan-art forums. The thread is here.

And so, DUCK WEEK(TM) draws to an epic conclusion! In case you missed it, I did post a Duck-related review on Wednesday–scroll down to check it out. Stay tuned for more Bootleg Sketch Mega-Events(TM) in the near future!

BONUS POST: Nothing To Do With Anything…

Every now and then, I’m going to feel compelled to make an extraneous post that has nothing to do with anything. I promise these posts won’t interfere with my regular Tuesday/Friday sketch posts…

Okay, so the the 2008 Olympics are going to take place in Beijing. Anyone who knows me knows that sports are the last thing in the world that I care about. I mean, I like watching martial arts, archery, boxing, wrestling, and fencing, but that’s all stuff that can be used for ass-kicking, so it’s cool.

I’m straying from my point here–what caught my attention is that apparently the mascots for the 2008 Summer Games are THE BEST MASCOTS EVER:

click above for larger view

While not a fan of sports, I am a fan of awesome character design, and these little dudes (and dudettes) definitely fit the bill in that category. As a broad generalization, I would say that most mascots are designed in a manner that is technically competent but super bland. However, these “Fuwa” (as they are collectively called) combine sharp, modern design, with select traditional cultural elements, to create a striking and unique feel. The Fuwa could easily pass for characters from Wind Waker–a video game with art direction that was under-appreciated and ahead of its time.

But wait, there’s more–if you take a look at the official site, on the right-hand side there are icons of the Fuwa pertaining to each event of the Olympics! I thought these were really cute, so I saved them and posted some on my friends’ Myspace pages where relevant–basketball for Vinny, swimming for Annie, etcetera. But then, a genius idea sprang into my head… Revised Caption + Photoshop = HILARIOUS REMIX!

A little something for wrestling fans Josh and Charles:

And something for my Dungeons and Dragons homeboy Jacob:

While I had run out of friends to send fitting remixes to, I had not run out of hi-larious captions and a desire to procrastinate and absolutely ensure that I never accomplish anything productive ever, and so, more were born:



Last but not least, my personal favorite (a gold star to anyone who knows the quote):

In case anyone is interested, the original Chinese text is intact on all images except for “Dual Wield” and “PWNED.”

I realize probably no one finds this obscure crap as funny as I do, but nonetheless, enjoy, send ‘em to your friends, and make your own, if you feel the holy spirit compelling you to. In fact, if you do make your own, post them in the comments!

For more on the Fuwa (and believe me, you want to know more–the red one is basically a fire elemental):

The antelope is my favorite.

Bear With Me For A Moment…

Posted early from an undisclosed remote location. I GOTS THE COMPUTER PROBLEMS!

Sometimes I get an IM first thing in the morning from Kevin, and he says something like, “I need you to draw Lawyerbear real quick,” without offering any further explanation. Frankly, no further explanation was needed:

click above for larger view

I’m proud to say that the black and white version of this sketch was the very first illustration of Lawyerbear. You can see it here.

Proof that Kevin is Lawyerbear’s daddy is here.

Be Lawyerbear’s internet predator/fakefriend here.

And most importantly, visit the official site for more Lawyerbear art: www.lawyerbear.org