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I have very nearly zero formal education in the arts, so whilst I ramble about theory today, you must forgive me if I use some terms incorrectly. Nevertheless, I think you will get the gist of what I’m saying. And for hardcore arts people, I’m sure you will have heard this all before. Bear with me, every so often I must talk these things through.

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So, you may or may not have noticed, but I’ve been having a stylistic identity crisis. Maybe crisis is the wrong word. I’d like it to be resolved, but there’s no imminent danger.

If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you’ll notice that I draw in a lot of different styles. Just the last few entries should make that apparent. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drawing in different styles, but I have been struggling with a more unified overall approach, and I think I need to figure out which style I’m going to focus on and attempt to master.

I’ve been attempting to move towards streamlined shapes with a lot of energy, which goes against literally decades of focusing on details and structure. When I was younger, I fixated more so on drawing things “right.” But you can draw something completely “right” with every detail in place, and it will still lack that undefinable thing that makes a piece of art interesting. And something that’s sort-of related to that–I’ve really become opposed to fussiness in drawing. I still like complexity. And I certainly don’t want to dumb things down. But fussy character design or composition is never a good thing.

I tend to get bogged down with details, so today’s piece was a bit of a style test. I wanted to draw some Transformers in a more streamlined and dynamic manner, without being such a slave to detail and geometry.

In regards to what I’m trying to achieve, I don’t think it worked. As a stand alone thing, the piece is decent enough, but Optimus still looks pretty stiff, and in the end, I still got a little hung up on details. However, on the plus side, the drawing itself didn’t take long at all. (Coloring it still took me forever because I’m slooow.)

Well, what can you do? Back to the drawing board, but first, sleep.

Okay, I know this looks bad…

I just caught up, and promised a post. And here I am not delivering. I know, it looks real bad. I had other art things I had to get done, which hopefully will be revealed some time in the next decade. HOWEVER! The post I want to put up is in good shape. It will be here. Soon. Ish. Like tomorrow night… exit, stage left!

The Anti-Life Equation and HIMYM

I’ve been doodling a revised costume for Darkseid on and off for several months (because that’s how I entertain myself), but I finally hunkered down and drew a finished sketch:

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You’ll note that I have changed Darkseid’s mini-skirt into a tunic over leggings. I kept the go-go boots though, because girlfriend can pull them off. The Omega motif refers to Darkseid’s Omega Beams naturally, but also refers to, you know, the end of all existence. I imagine this as some sort of triumphant future version of Darkseid

I have been sleeping poorly, but on the plus side, I’ve been drawing a lot while marathoning How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. The show is not without its faults–but the cast is strong, and the narrative structure is compelling. I confess that after shotgunning five or so seasons in the span of less than two weeks, I’ve started to get wrapped up in the lives of these characters. Also, I get emotional if I’m alone and have been sleep deprived. So when the episode about the death of Marshall’s dad came on at 2am while I was drawing Darkseid, yeah, I cried like a little baby.

I DENY THE ANTI-LIFE EQUATION, DARKSEID! WITH PERFORMANCES BOTH MOVING AND LAUGH-INDUCING BY EARTHLINGS SUCH AS JASON SEGEL, I SEE THAT EXISTENCE IS NOT FUTILE! DO YOU SEE, DARKSEID!? EVEN A WEIRDO RECLUSE SUCH AS I WILL SHED TEARS FOR THESE FICTIONAL MORTALS!

I DENY YOU, DARKSEID! I DENY YOU!

Okay, time for bed.

(Still behind by 2 posts! Working on it!)

The art of updating without updating…

(8 posts behind as of this writing)

I literally spent all my free time this week drawing/coloring pieces I’m really proud of… that I can’t show yet. However, that said, I spent my weekend watching movies and listening to podcasts whilst drawing/coloring stuff for blog posts. My goal is to completely catch up by Comic-Con (July 11), at which point I’m sure I will promptly fall behind again.

I could post a blog sketch now, but it has a companion piece, and I want to see if I can wrap up that one as well and post them together. Art soon, I promise!

Nothing to see here…

It’s frustrating when I’m actually working on stuff for stuff, but I can’t quite share it yet.

It’s also frustrating that earlier in the week I spent a night working on something for this blog, stepped back, realized it was utter garbage, and ended up scrapping it. (And trust me folks, I’m not a perfectionist, this was genuinely poop)

At some point in the near future, this blog will once again be updated regularly.

(6 posts missed, and counting)

JASONBOT.COM starts here!

Please correct your bookmarks and readers as necessary!

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Greetings, Programs!

Welcome to my new blog, now hosted on my very own domain: JASONBOT.COM!

You will find that all of the posts from my old blog have been imported to the new site–however they have not yet been altered, which means that some links are going to redirect you to the old site. My apologies for that! Over the next several weeks (possibly months) I will be working hard to make sure that the links in every single post are updated. I’ll also be overhauling the post tags/categories, and just generally trying to class the joint up. The details aren’t important, just stick around.

For those interested in a little background–I started my old blog on New Year’s Day of 2007, with a goal of posting 2 color sketches a week. I took about 6 months off in the latter half of 2010, however, by my calculations–adjusting for the the intensified posting while I was working on the Help the Cheerleader commissions–I still averaged roughly 2 drawings per week. So, with 5 years in the can on the old blog, it seemed like a good time to begin anew.

Whether you’ve been with me since the beginning, or only just stumbled upon this blog, thank you for reading! I hope you stick around for my nerdy scribblings and my geeky ramblings.

A special thanks to Kevin Church, who I obliquely referred to in my very first blog post, and who very generously worked his magic to create a blog template (for this site) that fit my needs and wants!

Okay, that’s all for now. Regular posting should resume this Tuesday. And off we go!

Happy New Year, you nerds!

Step by step and day by day (that’s two ABC TGIF references in a row–I promise this won’t become a trend!)

(EDIT, 01/20/2011: for those who are interested, I’ve compiled this step-by-step walkthrough into a single huge image file–you can get it on my DeviantArt account here)

I talk a decent amount about my artistic process on this blog, but I don’t think I’ve ever really given you, Dear Reader, an actual step-by-step glimpse at what my process looks like. So I thought today it would be nice to take a look at how a finished drawing by J.Ho comes together. Let’s get right into it…

* * *


STAGE ZERO: The assignment and the character.

The “assignment” in this case was not a blog post (although it has become, a blog post), but rather a cover illustration for a book. My old crony Charles produces an e-zine of speculative fiction called If-E-Zine (pronounced Iffy Zine). He was planning to compile some of his work into a book, and I offered my services for the cover.

The cover was to feature the e-zine’s mascot and sometimes ‘host,’ Iffy the Ifreet, a horn-mohawked, skull-faced demon, garbed in leather, chains and spikes (very metal). Charles has dressed as Iffy for Halloween a few times (link, link, link), but always with a slightly different appearance, so I was given free reign to come up with a unique character design, as long as I met the basic criteria.

STAGE ONE: Basic concept for character design, and rough thumbnail for pose.

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At this stage I’m just loosely sketching Iffy, figuring out what he’s going to look like. Combining my favorite aspects of Charles’ past Iffy Halloween appearances, I’m able to decide on the proportions of Iffy’s face, and the configuration of his horns. I sketch him with a powerful build, and very quickly I stumble upon what will become Iffy’s pose for the final illustration–Iffy will be a menacing figure, stalking towards us, with a dangerous warhammer hefted over one shoulder, and a hand aglow with mystic fire.

I start working on some of the details of his costume and his weapon’s design, but before I get any further, I send what I have to Charles, to make sure he likes where it’s headed. He gives me the go ahead and I move forward…

STAGE TWO: Working out costume details.

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A character like Iffy should have a costume that isn’t to symmetrical, but on the other hand, you want the elements to feel balanced so that no one area feels too busy or too bare. One of the changes I make here is to change the barbed wire to razor wire for a more streamlined visual read.

STAGE THREE: Rough cover layout.

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Not much to see here–I just take the rough pose that I’ve come up with, and put it in a template matching the dimensions for the cover, so that I can figure out how the type will match up with the illustration.

STAGE FOUR: Color study.

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Now I’m ready to start the actual drawing… but not really. I’m planning on a very particular backlit color scheme, and I feel the need to do a quick color study over the rough cover layout. This piece isn’t crazy-involved, but I want to make sure that what I’ve got in my head (in terms of layout, type placement, and color) will actually work out on paper. Once I’m satisfied with it, I clear it with Charles, and start drawing…

STAGE FIVE: Loose pencils.

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This probably seems like a complex step, but once the costume details and pose are set, fleshing out the drawing is relatively straightforward. If you look carefully, you can see that I’m contemplating a flame pattern emblazoned on Iffy’s coat, but I’m not crazy about how it’s looking. Charles decides the flames on the coat are too busy, so the final version won’t have them.

When I’m inking my own work, it’s usually unnecessary to tighten the pencils further than this, so I leave it as is and move on to the final inks…

STAGE SIX: Type treatment + final line-art in layout.

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When I finish the final inks, I scan them, clean them up in Photoshop, and place them in the rough cover layout. Charles wants a retro-horror-looking title font, so I research some, and hand-draw a treatment for the title. I place that in the rough cover layout as well, and now we’ve really got an idea of how the final piece is going to look.

STAGE SEVEN: Colors.

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I might have mentioned never shut up about what a slow colorist I am, so for me, this step is particularly time consuming. Someday I’ll make a step-by-step post about my coloring process, which is a whole thing unto itself, but for now I’ll just give you the basics.

Usually I just start slopping some colors around to nail down my color choices. Once I’ve got that figured out, I clean everything up. To keep things flexible for revisions, I tend to keep like-colors in separate layers, and give lighting effects (like the green flame and green highlights) their own layer as well. Color-wise, the important thing with this piece is the dramatic lighting created by the backlight and the green flame, so that’s my focus as I bring this illustration to a close.

Charles is happy with what I’ve done, so that means the illustration is finished, and I just need to finalize the cover layout…

STAGE EIGHT (FINAL): The result.

Charles gives me a template for the cover, as well as all the pertinent copy for the front and back covers. I make a blown-up, faded, monochromatic version of Iffy to use as a design element for the back cover, and insert that, along with all the copy. Behold, the final result:

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You would like to buy a copy, yes?

Big thanks to Brian Warmoth and Comics Alliance! And an apology for my terrible timing!

Brian Warmoth wrote a very generous article about this very blog over at Comics Alliance, which came completely out of the blue!

Please check out both Comics Alliance and Brian Warmoth’s personal blog:

I cannot thank Brian Warmoth and Comics Alliance enough for putting my art in front of so many viewers. But I will try: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

However, this means that I have chosen a terrible time to put the blog on hiatus, which I apologize for. Unfortunately current circumstances are what they are, so I’ll still need a bit of a break. Rest assured, that with encouragement like this, I will definitely be back sooner rather than later. See you soon, folks!

This isn’t "goodbye"… this is, "see you later, after an undetermined interval of time… probably."

With a heavy heart, I am putting this blog on temporary hiatus.

At the moment, I kind of feel like Life is stepping on my neck. I’m just a little too busy with the day-job, a little too burnt out overall, and a little too dissatisfied with some of the lazy posts I’ve been putting up. Plus there’s all the other stuff that goes on in life, miscellaneous things that I’m trying to work on outside of the blog, not to mention Comic-Con coming up next week… woof.

So I’ll be taking off an unspecified period of time, with the intention of refreshing my outlook, and renewing my dedication to this blog, and to my productivity in general. Before I go, I leave you with this:

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Of course long-time blog readers will recognize this as a callback to a much older post. Sure, I might be a big baby who can’t take the heat… but at least I’ve improved artistically, right? I think it must be destiny for me to take a break–as I finished this drawing, I realized that I was in fact wearing that shirt.

Thank you for your patronage, Dear Reader. With any luck, I’ll be back soon.

Happy Holidays, I’m a Forgetful Moron!

It occurs to me that I promised a bonus post today. And have not delivered. Well, it won’t be up by the end of Friday (which is in a scant few minutes), but it will be up before you wake up for Saturday morning cartoons. Tune back in in a few!

Bonus Post: Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals for awesome commercials…

After seeing a few cool CGI commercials and drawing some mascots, basically I immediately forgot all about the Olympics. But before it officially ends, here’s one more Olympic commercial from Stadium Astro (a Malaysian sports channel, I think?), featuring robots… transforming ones!

Of course watching one video on Youtube, always leads to another… here’s a soccer-themed transformer ad from Stadium Astro, promoting the Euro 2008 tournament:

And another transformer ad from Stadium Astro (apparently someone working there likes Transformers as much as I do?):

In summary, sports would actually be cool if there were more (or any) transforming robots involved.

Post Script: Decepticons as tweenage girls? Oh Japan, you so crazy (and that’s why I love ya… from TFormers.com)

Post Post Script: I actually found so many Transformer-related videos that I had to cut half of them out of this post. Expect another video post soon!

Bonus Post: Obsessive Dork Wastes Time

I’ve been seeing a lot of anime/manga-esque avatars on the internets recently, and Jodi kindly informed me that they were generated at FaceYourManga.com.

I made an avatar that resembled me fairly well, but felt the need to waste further time by customizing it even more. A few quick google image searches, some cheap Photoshop tricks, and voila:

Still feeling that time needed to be wasted, I slapped together a quick diagram showing the base elements I used to mod my avatar, and pointing out some of the smaller cosmetic changes I made:

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As a bonus, here’s an avatar I created a few months ago, through the Photobucket/Meez website:

This is basically exactly how I spend my weekends–chillin’ out during a nuclear holocaust, with a dragon hatchling on my shoulder, a ray gun in hand, and a devil-may-care grin on my face. Basically.

What’s wrong with me?

(That’s a rhetorical question.)

Things I ate, and an awesome bonus illustration from a SUPERSTAR artist

Food consumed this weekend was as follows (in chronological order):

FRIDAY:

  • 1 large turkey hoagie cross-section, approximately 4 x 4 x 3″
  • 1 plate full of barbecue chips, kettle-cooked
  • 2 Snapple ice teas
  • 1 slice of chocolate cheesecake
  • 1 pear

SATURDAY:

SUNDAY:

  • 1/2 order of sliced chicken with garlic sauce (Chinese take-out)
  • 1/2 order of mixed vegetables in light sauce (Chinese take-out)
  • approximately 3 glasses of Fresca
  • 1 foot-long Subway tuna sub (with American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach, black olives, cilantro, and mustard)

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY:

My pal, Dustin took some time out of his crazy rockstar schedule to draw an awesome piece for me:

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The l’il robot on the left is my character Cog and the super-hott dame on the right is Big Barda, my favorite character from DC’s New Gods.

YOU’RE THE MAN, DUSTIN! Be sure to check out his Deviant Art gallery, and go buy all his issues of Detective Comics, available in finer comic book stores now!

I’m trying to be a less horrible person.

I finally caught up on responding to the comments on this blog, going all the way back to July. I know, I truly suck.

I genuinely appreciate every single comment, and even though I take forever to respond, they are all sent to my e-mail, so I read each and every one (usually within a day of receiving it). That said, I’m going to try and be better about responding more promptly.

Thanks again! We now return you to your regularly scheduled dorkiness.

Greetings New Visitors! (Also: An Addendum, In Which I Explain How I Unknowingly Plaigarized An Idea)

First of all, hello to any new readers dropping in, and a HUGE thanks to Kevin for plugging my Halo Kitty post on his widely known and beloved blog. As a result of Kevin’s post, my daily visitors jumped up, oh about 1268%. O_O

So, after the surge in page hits, I was looking at my blog’s stats, checking out how people found my blog. Several LiveJournal pages mentioned my Halo Kitty post too (presumably someone on LiveJournal saw Kevin’s blog, and things spread from there), but I also saw several hits referred from a comments thread on a Danish website discussing Halo. I’m always curious what the Danes are saying about me, so I ran some of the comments through a translator. One of the commentors linked my image saying “The rumours say that the sale hasn’t gone in Japan so well, and that MicroSoft therefore works on a new version to the Japanese market.” Very funny, yes? Well, the next person that replied said that Halo Kitty was old news, and gave a link–unfortunately the link was dead.

Well, this got me curious. Earlier in the year when I had drawn this image, I did a google image search for “Halo Kitty”, and came up with a few images of Spartan heads Photoshopped onto cats, and one image of a Halo Kitty head Photoshopped onto Master Chief–I figured my concept was different enough, so I ran with it (well, I ran slowly, since I took several months to get around to coloring it). That was then.

A few minutes ago, I googled “Halo Kitty” and came up with this image, virtually identical in design to my own image, but predating me by three years. THREE YEARS. As it turns out, there are several Halo Kitties that predate mine. The one I just linked (posted November 2004) appears to be the most well-known–two others predate that. One from April 2004 and one from October 2004.

So, I am unoriginal, and a horse’s ass, but unintentionally so. My apologies to the creator(s) of the original image(s). To anyone dropping in for the first time, I hope you’ll stick around–I still have pictures of platypi with three-section staffs (an original idea, as far as I can tell), badger-pits, and of course various obscure nerdy characters from He-Man.

EDIT: There are a million more, CLICK HERE

(This post will be linked in the original Halo Kitty post.)

Unrelated Topics: Comic-Con and comic Conan

As promised, here is a post rife with complete sentences, as well as a Comic-Con wrap-up. First up, the last illustration from the commisioned project where I was asked to depict a few distinct TV characters–my favorite talk show host, Conan O’Brien:

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Same technique on this one as the previous few–inked with Tombo brush pen and Sakura microns, followed by obsessive Photoshop touch-up and coloring. The colors on this piece don’t quite gel. They get the idea across well enough, but there’s something subtley lacking. In that respect this piece shows its age–I think I’d do a better job on the colors today. Incidentally, this and the Mr. T sketch from tuesday, were both drawn years before Mr. T became a semi-regular on Conan. MY DRAWRINS’ PREDICTED THE FUTURE!

So, Comic-Con. It was a decent show–crowded, but manageable (unlike last year). For me, Comic-Con is always a very surreal event–every fifteen minutes I’m running into someone I know, very often someone who I haven’t seen for years. For example, literally, within five minutes of stepping into the convention hall to pick up my badge, I ended up talking to someone who I haven’t seen since college (closing in on 8-9 years). It’s nice running in to some familiar faces, and its always cool to meet new creative people too, and get excited about drawing and writing. However, talking too much and being in a dry air-conditioned environment for four and a half days straight left my throat pretty messed up. Enough about my ridiculously frail constitution! The highlights:

  • Vinny drew me an awesome sketch of Skeletor–I will post it in the near future.
  • The Tired Girl Collective was joined by the very lovely Anna Woltz. Anna had a button that read “Frodo” but looked like the Ford logo, so naturally, I bought one.
  • “Hand-wrestling” featuring super-posable cardboard robot action figure thingees. It basically amounted to videos of a person’s hands making two cardboard robots “wrestle.” It’s ridiculous, I don’t understand the point of it, but the robots are awesome. Check out Kami-Robo.
  • Samurai cats in the style of traditional Japanese ukiyo-e prints. Verbal description doesn’t do it justice–good sense requires you to visit the website of Moira Hahn.
  • Martin Hsu‘s art really caught my eye, as did Seth Reek‘s. Let your eyes soak in their talent.
  • I bought the volume of Dungeon that I was missing, King City (review on its way), and an advance copy of Comic Foundry.
  • Jacob, who is both a Prince, and a Scholar, picked up this Transformers exclusive for me, so I didn’t even have to wait in line!

Phew. Enough of that! Comic-Con 2008 will be upon us before we know it. Onward, to the future, dear reader!

(Next Post: Harry Potter!)

5-SECOND REVIEW: I Saw Transformers O_O

Transformers (In theaters now!)

I’m cramming for Comic-Con, plus it’s already late, so I’m not going to spend a lot of time reviewing Transformers here. Basically, it’s a fun film that is sometimes silly, with good special effects and action, and a some decent one-liners and nods to the franchise’s history. Some of the attempted humor is clunky, and a lot of the fight scenes are blurry and chaotic, but the character designs, which were controversial among many fans, work excellently in the context of the film, and we are left wide open for a sequel.

Verdict: Awesome. Well worth full ticket prices to see robots gettin’ blowed up good. You will leave the theater feeling like someone grabbed you and shook you by the shoulders for two-plus hours… in a good way!

For More Giant Robots Getting Blowed Up Good: My other favorite giant robot franchises include, Giant Robo, Escaflowne, The Big O, and Robotech.

* * *

NOW, as a bonus, here’s a little e-mail that I wrote up and sent out to a few friends and co-workers. Hammers said it was blogworthy, and by god, when he says something is blogworthy, I BLOG! You will note, that as I have enjoyed the movie at this point, I must eat my words in regards to the filmmaking skills of one Michael Bay. My apologies to Mister Bay and the enormous pile of money that he sleeps on. At any rate, please enjoy:

As you all may or may not know, the live action Transformers movie is debuting on the fourth of July, 7-4-7, as the posters say. Only it isn’t, because they moved it up a day, so 7-3-7, as the new posters say. But then they decided to move it up another day with advance screenings starting at 8:00pm, so now it’s premiering on 7-2-7, which is not on any poster that I have seen. Basically, Transformers will be opening on a Monday, giving it a SEVEN day Fourth of July ‘weekend’ opening. You are asking yourself a question right now, and the answer is, “yes, Hollywood is ridiculous.”

Oh, and by the way, there was already a screening at the L.A. Film Festival, the world premier in Italy, and another advance screening set for this weekend at the annual Transformers convention taking place in scenic Rhode Island. So, even watching it on the first day of the SEVEN day opening, I will already basically be the last person in the world watching it.

Which brings me to the point of this mass mailing. for those of you who had the stamina to stick with me, I applaud you. Again, I digress. presently, the point of this message:

TRANSFORMERS
This Monday July 2nd, 8:00 PM

(Author’s Note: location excluded, as this invite has now expired)

I have my ticket, and I will be there, rain or shine, alone if need be–as track four of the soundtrack to the original Transformers movie says, NOTHING’S GONNA STAND IN MY WAY. I will not be buying tickets or saving seats for anyone, but I would be delighted if you would meet me there. If you decide to come, I highly recommend buying tickets online. And since I’m not doing anything other than writing this email, feel free to bring as many people as you like.

I need not remind you that this is a movie based on a popular toy franchise, being released on a major holiday ‘weekend’ in hopes of attracting the lowest common denominator, and is directed by Michael Bay (a director who is, in case you haven’t noticed, not necessarily good). In short, this movie has three strikes against it–and we are walking into a dangerous situation at best (Let us not forget Pearl Harbor… the movie, not the historical tragedy. Though we should also remember the historical tragedy, for reasons that I shouldn’t have to explain to you here**). Ahem. As I was saying–

Like Optimus Prime recruiting soldiers for the Ark’s fateful journey to planet Earth, I will only be taking volunteers for this mission. Let no one feel obligated to fight for the freedom of all sentient beings. But with any luck, we might see some cool special effects and watch some robots get blowed up good.

So–if you decide to attend, just meet me inside. You will know me by the geeky child-like grin on my face.

-j

** Actually, I’m being a jerk about Pearl Harbor (the movie), I haven’t seen it, though I understand that it is terrible.

Real Life IM Transcript, Fake IM names… Subject: Transformers and Pokemon

It started out innocently enough…

[00:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: butthead
[00:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: ya there?
[00:33] green lantern wannabe: yeah i am
[00:33] AUTOBOT-Elric: i just saw a clip of transformers on david letterman
[00:34] green lantern wannabe: ok so how was the Tf clip?
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: that **** was rad
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: they’re giving away too much, which is a bad sign
[00:34] green lantern wannabe: hahahah sure i hear it looks good
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: but
[00:34] green lantern wannabe: hahahah mayybbeee
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: the clip is radddd
[00:34] green lantern wannabe: haha
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: its megatrron cornering spike on a rooftop
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude
[00:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: it looked great
[00:35] AUTOBOT-Elric: and its the first i’ve heard megs talk
[00:35] AUTOBOT-Elric: hugo weaving sounds nothing like himself
[00:35] AUTOBOT-Elric: i can not wait for this ****!
[00:36] AUTOBOT-Elric: seriously dude, this **** is no fair
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: everyone has seen the movie but me
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: WHY GODDDD
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: ???
[00:37] green lantern wannabe: hahahahah
[00:37] green lantern wannabe: its cool man
[00:37] green lantern wannabe: no worries
[00:37] green lantern wannabe: you’ll get your turn
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: I WANT IT NOWWWWW
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: HUNGERRRRRRRR
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: I WANT IT SO BADDDD I CAN TASTE IT
[00:37] AUTOBOT-Elric: IT DRIVES ME MAD TO SEE IT WASTED
[00:38] AUTOBOT-Elric: little quote from the og TF soundtrack there, niatch

Then some talk about my tragic dating life lead to…

[01:03] AUTOBOT-Elric: i think instead of dating i’m just gonna buy a DS and become a pokemon trainer
[01:03] AUTOBOT-Elric: sound good?
[01:03] AUTOBOT-Elric: quit everything else
[01:06] green lantern wannabe: dude
[01:06] green lantern wannabe: go to bed
[01:06] green lantern wannabe: haha
[01:07] AUTOBOT-Elric: you know what u need to do
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: make a name for yourself
[01:08] green lantern wannabe: umm surreeee
[01:08] green lantern wannabe: ok
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: and then go thru my favorites on DA
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: and just pick people to hire
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: and then tell me all about it
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: you’ll have to txt me
[01:08] AUTOBOT-Elric: cuz i’ll be travelling the world, becoming the world’s greatest pokemon trainer
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: BOOM… BOOMBOOMBOOM-BOOM
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: I WANNA BEEEE THE VERY BEST
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: TO CATCH THEM IS MY TRUE TEST
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: TO TRAIN EM IS MY CAUSE
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: I’LL TRAVEL ‘CROSS THE LAND
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: SEARCHIN FAR AND WIDE
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: EACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: THE POWERRRRRR THATSSSS INSIIIIDE
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: POKEMON!
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: GOTTA CATCH EM ALLLL
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: IT’S YOU AND ME
[01:09] AUTOBOT-Elric: YOU KNOW ITS OUR DESTINY
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: YOU NEEED ME AND I NEEEED YOU
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: POKEEEEEEMONNNNNNN
[01:10] green lantern wannabe: okkkk
[01:10] green lantern wannabe: sure you do that
[01:10] green lantern wannabe: yeahhhh
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: YOU SAID ITS OK!
[01:10] AUTOBOT-Elric: *packs duffle bag and pokeballs*
[01:11] green lantern wannabe: dude.. you are making me tired
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: you have to have stamina
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: if you want to be the world’s best pokemon trainer
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric:
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[01:12] AUTOBOT-Elric: e_e
[01:14] AUTOBOT-Elric: eh comrade???
[01:14] AUTOBOT-Elric: eh?
[01:14] AUTOBOT-Elric: ;)
[01:15] green lantern wannabe: eh?

Later, I continue to be hilarious…

[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: ok cool, sounds like a plan
[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: i’m gonna get together some supplies and pick out a few pokeballs
[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: then i need to email professor oak
[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: then its off to bed
[01:29] AUTOBOT-Elric: and i start my journey as a pokemon trainer tommorrow!
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: who should i pick first?
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: i’m thinking bulbasaur
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude… ?
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: what do you think?
[01:30] AUTOBOT-Elric: you seem like a squirtle man yourself
[01:31] green lantern wannabe: hahaha
[01:31] green lantern wannabe: umm i dont know’
[01:31] green lantern wannabe: its been awhile since i played
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: lol… i forgot, you actually are really good at it
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: damn dude
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: you and i need to both get DS’s
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: and each get a diff version of the game
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: we’ll be rivals!
[01:32] AUTOBOT-Elric: this is gonna be rad.
[01:33] green lantern wannabe: im retired
[01:33] AUTOBOT-Elric: dude
[01:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: i can see the heart of a pokemon trainer burning deep in you
[01:34] AUTOBOT-Elric: it never dies man
[01:34] green lantern wannabe: i hung it up for a bigger and more dangerous hunt
[01:36] AUTOBOT-Elric: digimon
[01:36] AUTOBOT-Elric: yeah i heard that brutha
[01:36] AUTOBOT-Elric: high five!
[01:40] green lantern wannabe: ummmm ok
[01:40] green lantern wannabe: have fun with that

Finally…

[02:04] green lantern wannabe: ok, im going to bed, so i can get up bright and early and get to work on the rest of the stuff i need to do
[02:04] green lantern wannabe: oh and
[02:05] green lantern wannabe: pika pika pika
[02:05] AUTOBOT-Elric: LOL
[02:05] green lantern wannabe: pikachuuuuuuuu
[02:05] AUTOBOT-Elric: I LOVE YOU MAN
[02:05] green lantern wannabe: hahah yeah yeah pika yeah
[02:05] green lantern wannabe: good pika.. imean night

The End!

Author’s Note: Yes, I am aware that naming Bulbasaur and Squirtle as starting Pokemon shows what an old man I am. That’s why I really do need to buy a DS and start training an Infernape or something. Just sayin.

BONUS POST: Nothing To Do With Anything…

Every now and then, I’m going to feel compelled to make an extraneous post that has nothing to do with anything. I promise these posts won’t interfere with my regular Tuesday/Friday sketch posts…

Okay, so the the 2008 Olympics are going to take place in Beijing. Anyone who knows me knows that sports are the last thing in the world that I care about. I mean, I like watching martial arts, archery, boxing, wrestling, and fencing, but that’s all stuff that can be used for ass-kicking, so it’s cool.

I’m straying from my point here–what caught my attention is that apparently the mascots for the 2008 Summer Games are THE BEST MASCOTS EVER:

click above for larger view

While not a fan of sports, I am a fan of awesome character design, and these little dudes (and dudettes) definitely fit the bill in that category. As a broad generalization, I would say that most mascots are designed in a manner that is technically competent but super bland. However, these “Fuwa” (as they are collectively called) combine sharp, modern design, with select traditional cultural elements, to create a striking and unique feel. The Fuwa could easily pass for characters from Wind Waker–a video game with art direction that was under-appreciated and ahead of its time.

But wait, there’s more–if you take a look at the official site, on the right-hand side there are icons of the Fuwa pertaining to each event of the Olympics! I thought these were really cute, so I saved them and posted some on my friends’ Myspace pages where relevant–basketball for Vinny, swimming for Annie, etcetera. But then, a genius idea sprang into my head… Revised Caption + Photoshop = HILARIOUS REMIX!

A little something for wrestling fans Josh and Charles:

And something for my Dungeons and Dragons homeboy Jacob:

While I had run out of friends to send fitting remixes to, I had not run out of hi-larious captions and a desire to procrastinate and absolutely ensure that I never accomplish anything productive ever, and so, more were born:



Last but not least, my personal favorite (a gold star to anyone who knows the quote):

In case anyone is interested, the original Chinese text is intact on all images except for “Dual Wield” and “PWNED.”

I realize probably no one finds this obscure crap as funny as I do, but nonetheless, enjoy, send ‘em to your friends, and make your own, if you feel the holy spirit compelling you to. In fact, if you do make your own, post them in the comments!

For more on the Fuwa (and believe me, you want to know more–the red one is basically a fire elemental):

The antelope is my favorite.